In a world where marriage and family are under attack, a man can be a Godly father only through living the “mind of Christ” in a lasting marriage where love is an action rather than a desire (Ephesians 5:25-29). We look at steps from the Bible that make this possible today.

Communication

The first step is the need for communication. James 1:19 says, “…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Most of the time we do just the opposite. Instead, we must pay attention to what is being said for healthy communication to happen. We must listen even if we believe the other person is only expressing their feelings rather than a fact. God made men to be providers and protectors, so we must be careful not to jump into action before first hearing all our wife or child has to say.

Walking

The second step in communication is not to step away. Often, when feelings from our family get too intense, we want to walk away. We want to escape to our own place of comfort. When we pay attention to those we love, we quickly understand the signs that someone is not able to say what they want or are denying their feelings. We must be willing to let time do its work, as we read in Ecclesiastes 3:1-4, “For everything, there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven…a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh…” We must be careful not to try to fix things too soon.

Respect

A third step is to give the other person respect. Jesus said, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them…” (Matthew 7:12). We avoid absolute statements, such as, “you never listen” or “you always say…” For your children, treat them as the intelligent adults you want them to be someday. For your wife, talk with her as the person you love most on this earth.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

The fourth step is reconciliation. “…First, be reconciled…” Jesus said to His disciples (Matthew 5:24). We need to learn how to reconcile with those we love because if we do not, we build a wall of separation between each other. We are born into trouble, the Bible says in Job 5:6-7. If we let the trouble live, we build walls of separation that lead to isolation. Teaching your children the art of reconciliation will have great value in their lives as adults. Teaching them to forgive, by your example, is one of the greatest things you can teach them (Ephesians 4:32).

Forgiveness and Reconciliation

A fifth step is to refuse the temptation to always be right. The wisdom of God says, “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid” (Proverbs 12:1). True love for your family will produce honor in them as well (Romans 12:9-13).