Video used with permission from Explore God.

I ended up in government care because my dad walked out on our family.  And our family was broken, completely broken.  And I didn't know who he was.  I met him when I was 12 and I opened the door to a man who I look exactly like.  And he is a complete stranger to me.  

I was desperate to be loved by someone

So I asked what he wanted.  He said Is your mum there?  I shut the door and went and got my mum.  And then discovered that that was my first meeting with my dad. And you know, I'm 12 years old. And you resent someone, you hate someone, but you're desperate.  I was desperate to be loved by that someone.  He defined my existence.  His absence had defined my existence. There are so many things that wouldn't have happened if he wasn't there.  Or at least that's what I felt.  

How could He know?

When I was 16, I remember going to this church. And I went to the church, honestly because the drummer was really good looking.  And at the end of the service, someone said they had been praying.  And they had been praying, and as they prayed, they felt that there was a girl who had never known her dad and she felt like an orphan. And that God wanted her to know that He was her Dad. It was one of those moments for me where I thought, “how could someone know that I screamed alone for years? That I'd cried alone for years? I remember sobbing, sobbing, and sobbing and hearing "I want my daddy!  I want my daddy!"  And realizing that it was me saying I want my dad.  And I can't describe the pain of it, because I think so many people are used to their dads not being around.  It's what you live with.  It's your life.  

He weeps along with us

But at that moment, on that day, that hour, or however long it took, I was able to grieve all that was lost.  All that had happened.  All the horrible conversations.  All the alienation and stuff.  And I remember that when somebody prayed with me, feeling like He heard.  That in this room, God knew how lonely I'd felt and how desperate I felt.  And He knew all the vulnerability of our family because there was nobody to protect us.  And that He wept too.  

But what makes me peaceful now that in a broken world, that you can get healed and fixed, is because I know that He saw me.  And that He saw the consequences of all these crazy actions and He began to heal me.  And it did change the way I saw myself over time.  And it did begin to change how I live my life.

Republished with permission from ExploreGod.com.