Bad news, hard news and violent news all pile up on top of our personal conflicts…and eventually, like most, we might ask, “How can God allow all this pain?” For you, a story to give you hope.

Pamela’s Story

With Pamela’s permission, I share with you her story. Here it is, in her own words:

“I wrapped an old jacket around me and slammed the door of my dingy apartment. At four in the morning, it was safer and easier to hit the crack dealer on the corner.

I lived in a horrible home. Satan had taken my kids, my family, my home and my job.

I lived to find enough money for the next hit. And when high on whatever I smoked, I groaned and cried at God.

Where was He? Why did He leave me? Why did He allow so much pain?

I knew that answer. I wasn’t worth Him sticking around me—a drug addict, a loser and a sinner.

He’d left me. He’d gone from my home. I traveled looking for him. From state to state I went, but I never found Him. Darkness was just about to choke me; I gave one more cry even when no more breath seemed to be in me. I had lost hope. I had nothing. No apartment and no family. I wondered why I still lived.

That’s when God touched my withered soul and said, ‘I never left you…been right here by your side.’”

We’ve all been there

Pam’s question about the absence of God is not rare or uncommon. When despair hits, we assume He’s left us. The reasons are many. Maybe it’s not an addiction to crack but a crack in our heart that begs to be healed. Or perhaps a sin, a hypocritical comment, or harsh admonishment. Or simply, bad choices.

Whatever the reason, in our despair, God seems to be a distant, abstract image. But He’s not. He’s alive, vibrant and active! He’s still waiting, still calling, still loving and still hoping for us to come back.

There’s hope

He’s hoping the child that ran away would ease back into His arms, nestle in His grace and listen to the truth: Humans are flawed, fickle, weak and often wrong. But God is forever loving, forgiving and forever our Father. He is also “…gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The LORD is good to all; His mercy is over all that he has made.” (Psalm 145:8-9)

That compassion touched Pam. She left her destructive ways behind, repented, and hope filled her once again. God restored her family and she now lives to serve Christ, declaring with boldness her pain soothed, and her peace renewed.

And with the gratitude that replaced her grief, she declares this verse with conviction and confidence:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:4-7)

His riches shine brighter in dark times as we receive His kindness. He may allow pain, but He gives us peace. He may allow loss, but He gives back much gain. And He may let grief in, but He says joy will follow.